Confusion Galore
by fuzzyfeelings
Summary: Probably overrated, but just to be safe... M/M pairing, possibly slight J/OC? R/R! Disclaimer applies to all chaps.
1. titles are beyond me, but only when i wa...

A/n sorry about the weird format, it might change later, I don't know, please don't flame me, it's my first fanfic, and my tender unsullied (*snort*) mind of moderately youngish proportions might not be able to handle severe heat- on second thought, flame me all you want, it could be interesting. I wonder if I could use it to stop my evil hellcat (one of them) from attacking me so much. hmm. I don't know what a senior would take for math if she took algebra in 7th grade (like I did, teehee), or what science, so just excuse the elementary terms. I had something else to say, but I forgot it. Oh! This isn't it, but it'll do-thanx, Harp and Abby, for reviewing while it was in progress, and for everything else (including your personalities on loan ; ) ) By the way, can anyone explain (in a WONDERFUL review : D *cheesy smile*) what on earth a beta reader is? And as far as I know, the post is open, unless my friend Harper (she appears later, in another a/n) fits the bill. Judith is sorta based on me, except for the looks, but she's a bit more something, (and I don't live in New York, but I've visited there from Austin, Texas) PLEASE R/r!!  
  
Disclaimer- oh, puhleeze. Does anybody actually read these, anyway? Oh, well, here goes a pointless waste of time. I own nada EXCEPT for: the placement and choice of the words in the diaries. the adjectives describing how people write. the characters other than Mia's thoughts (or do they count as mine???). Judith's personality. the changes that were made to Michael. Bibi. and the girl who isn't really in here yet, but will be soon (take THAT, Harper!). etc. Oh, and I just remembered: I own Jenny, too. I think. Actually, I technically don't really own either half of Michael, or Bibi, or the soon- to-be character. the real people's (since people is plural, do you put the apostrophe before or after the s? oh, shut up, Abby, I care) parents do, until they're 18 (or is it 21? I think it's 18, but li'l ol' me don't know nuttin'). Oh, well, humour me here.  
  
Judith Gershner, senior at Albert Einstein high school, pulled a small turquoise spiral-bound journal off of the white wall shelf in her room, and curled up in the nest of pillows, blankets, and books at the foot of her bed to write. She flipped to a clean page, and her pencil started racing across the white paper.  
  
Who am I kidding? Of course it would be neat-- great-- if Michael started liking me. Actually, if ANYBODY half-nice started liking me. Look at me- a senior in high school, and no one has liked me since that jerk in third grade. No one thinks of tall, shy, smart Judith as 'likeable'. They all think of her as 'oh, yeah, her- she's the smart one who took algebra in seventh grade, and didn't she clone a fruit fly sometime? I don't know her that well; she seems pretty nice.' I don't even want to be remembered as cloning a stupid fruit fly, I want people to know Judith Gershner as the girl whose words live and dance and cry. The fruit fly was just a weird accidential side project anyway, and I wasn't really trying to clone it, just running different experiments on it. Actually, I guess it's a little hard for people to know about my writing when I don't show it to anyone. But that's digressing. I don't even actually really like Michael; I just want somebody I know and like/respect to realize that I'm a GIRL. I've thought about liking Michael since about seventh grade, but that's just because he's probably the most mature boy I know. He still hasn't grown into his ego, though- hopefully that will shrink when we're at Columbia. I don't know if I still want to go there, though. Swarthmore might be nicer. Hmm. something to think about. Nothing very interesting is going on in my life right now, except that Michael is more into the newest girl than ever-although she isn't so new any more, seeing as he's liked her for going on three or four years now, and hidden it pretty well, considering that I wasn't paying attention for a while (several years). I'm having a problem with one section of the computer game; I'll have to ask Michael or Jenny about it. I really need to remember to buy black tights, because I had to wear (shudder) tan pantyhose yesterday. Oh! Here's my latest conversation with Michael about his and my love lives, or lack thereof: Me: Michael, why won't you tell me? It would do you plenty of good to confide in someone about who you like. You've been preoccupied and listless lately. Come on, you know I never tell. Michael (M): Yes, you did, you told that Baby-kid in seventh grade Me: (punches him, lightly) Michael: Ow! What'd you do that for? Me: Stop playing dumb- wait, that's your actual personality. Don't give me the puppy face, you know I'm only joking. And you deserved it. Please call her Bibi, like you should. And I only told her because that was old news, and both of them were pressuring me, and Bibi got mad at me, and you know I can't stand it when she does. Get mad at me, I mean. But I didn't tell besides that time. M: Give me one really good reason why I should tell you. Me: Well, I always have those pictures, you know, from our sophmore and junior years. and all that information on you. you know that time last year?. for that I even have a video. and remember my famed elbows and how much they can hurt you, not to mention my hands and feet. haven't I always been nice to you, huh, Michael? Don't you think you should tell little old Judith all about it, huh? M: oh! Well, in that case, er. the bell's about to ring. Why don't you come over this afternoon to work on that Computer Club stuff? Me: You mean, so you can yak and eat and I can squint at your impossible computer for hours, doing your work. I really think your computer hates me or something. For heaven's sake, can't you just get a bookshelf in that hellhole of yours? Books are so much better than computers, anyway. M: So why are you in the Computer Club? Me: Because I don't want to babysit my brat siblings all afternoon until my mom gets home all grumpy from dealing with out of control first graders, and my dad gets home all grumpy from dealing with out of control undergrads. Besides, I do need to learn more about computers. M: Oh. (pause) Who is taking you to the Nondenominational dance thingy? Me: (looking very uncomfortable) Nobody. M: Why not? Me: (sigh) Come on, Michael. It's not like we haven't had this conversation before. It's because no one wants to be seen with majorly introverted, socially crippled, too-tall, too-curvy, too-smart, too- old-fashioned, too-weird Judith Gershner. Who, might I add, has a huge nose and gargantuan hands that just sort of dangle from wrists that are too small for the rest of her oversized body, and stunted-in-some- areas-and-over-grown-in-others brain. Remember about my totally non- existent, so non-existent that it must be measured to the left of zero on a number line, social life as far as boys and most people go, doofus? Except you and a couple others. M: That's not true, Judith. Me: You're a terrible liar, Michael. How else can you explain the totally zero amount of interest any boy has paid in me since Aaron in third grade, who doesn't count? Also not counting the boys who hung around during class to try to get me to give them answers, who were so utterly deluded to even think of such a thing that they are really not worth thinking about. M: You don't know that nobody's liked you since- Me: Forever? Yes, I do. A: nobody told me, and with boys they always tell someone, and then it eventually leaks out that so-and-so liked so- and-so in the such-and-such-grade. And B: I have paid attention to all the small signs about people liking other people, which are, with the exception of myself most times, always there. M: Well, maybe you were just too busy with school and friends or something to notice. Me: Friends? School? I don't have enough friends to keep me totally occupied, and school is so easy for the most part that only about one/sixty-fourth of the part of my brain I use is actually focused on it. Yeah. Sure. You keep on dreaming in your happy little bubble, Michael. I am going back to the real world to do the three pages of homework that my truly evil math teacher gave me, and then I'm going to curl up and read Pride and Prejudice again. See you this afternoon, and I'll show you some more ideas at lunch for the computer program. M: Pride and Prejudice? Me: Shut your trap, I love that book. See you later I really wish that Michael would stop trying to convince me that someone possibly could maybe might have NOT liked me sometime between third grade and now. It's easier for me if I can just accept the given fact that no decent boy is going to like me. That way I don't cry myself asleep, what with that and all my other problems. Must do my homework. Homework: English: remember to correct your story and send it off; give a copy of it to Mrs. Breck History: research events leading up to Civil War and how it affected coastal states, family tree (again! I did that in seventh grade) Math: chapter 8-3 worksheets (three of them! Evens only, directions on the page) Spanish: copy vocab from chapter 9 Science: memorize table of elements and parts of cat fetus for dissection Mon. Study hall: see if I can get transferred to G&T to work w/ Michael on the computer project Band: already done Extra: hound Michael via IM, email, phone, and glares/puppy eyes to tell more about present intrigue; keep an eye on Lilly Moskovitch, I think she has promise and knows more than she does; note: Mia seems rather shallow and superficial, but nice in a juvenile way- oh, well, she's only a freshman. Was I like that?  
  
Judith flipped through the book, smiling a bit wistfully, then reached over to her backpack and pulled out binder after binder after binder to begin her homework. "Time-consuming busy work," she muttered.  
  
Lilly Moskovitch pushed Pavlov off of her pillow and reached over the disgruntled mop-dog to grab a dog-eared spiral notebook and pen. She lay back on her bed and wrote in a messy hand.  
  
You know, Judith really isn't half bad. She's been coming over almost every afternoon for a while now to work on the Computer Club's table for the 'Nondenominational dance thingie', as my precious (HA) bro calls it. Today she brought cookies that she made, because she had a 'bake attack' at the same time as her mom, and her mom kicked her cookies out of the house. Judith told a very funny story about it, describing in great detail how her mom packed up the cookies in a towel like a rucksack (VERY stereotypical) and tossed them out the door, declaring that her cake had seniority, because she herself is thirty something years older than Judith. She really is good at telling stories. Then Judith had to go up and work on something with my brother, but she came into my room long enough to say how much she like 'Lilly Tells It Like It Is', and tell me what she would like to see on it. She also told me to tell Michael every morning and evening, without fail, 'Why won't you tell poor Judith all about it, huh, darling brother Michael?' until Judith tells me not to any more. She also promised me that if 'it' turned out to be something that might concern/interest me, she would tell me everything, on three conditions: 1. I won't tell anyone. 2. I won't tell Michael that I know about it from her. 3. I won't tease Michael about it. much. She seems really nice, actually. Maybe I should have her as a special guest on my show. I'll think about it. Meanwhile, I need to do my homework. Who do the teachers think they are? Nobody's going to do homework right now, right before finals and, more importantly (to royal pains like Lana and Josh), The Dance. At least, nobody besides people like Judith, who don't have boyfriends/serious social lives to take care of. And THAT is the truth. Uh-oh, I think that's Michael. I hope he didn't find out that I was sorta messing around on his computer the other day, and I sorta rearranged the words in one of his computer programs. whoops.  
  
Well! THAT was certainly interesting! Michael came in, all red-faced, with his hair all messed up, and started yelling at me. Here's how it went:  
  
Brother (B): Lilly! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT INVADING MY SPACE?!?!?!?!?!!  
  
Me (M): What would you like, dear darling brother of mine? Your slightest wish is my command, wonderful relation.  
  
B: Shut up, Lilly, we aren't an incestuous family. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! DON'T GO INTO MY ROOM, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET INTO MY PRIVATE FILES!!!! I DON'T WANT YOU TO FIND OUT ABOUT THAT!!!  
  
M: (thinking-private files?? Must learn more, possibly through another little trip to his room tomorrow.) Who? Me? What are you talking about, oh great slob standing before me?  
  
B: Shut up, Lilly. MY PERSONAL FILES!!! THE ONES WHERE I WRITE MY THOUGHTS, key word being MY, M-Y, as in NOT FOR STUPID YOUNGER SISTERS TO PEEK INTO!!!!!!  
  
M: You have secret files about your thoughts? (I was seriously shocked, here-this DEFINITELY called for a little trip tomorrow)  
  
B: AAAAAAARGH!!!!!  
  
And that was the end of that, as my brother went out of the room muttering about how Judith was going to kill him when he told her that she had to rewrite all of that code, etc., etc., etc. Intriguing, to say the least. I'll really do my homework now. 


	2. as I said, titles are beyond me Chapter ...

A/N- I am going to try to do two POVs per chapter. Please enjoy! Not to mention review!  
  
Michael typed in a password on his computer and stared at the screen while his fingers darted over the keyboard.  
  
Phew!! Almost spilled the beans about my computer journal to my brat (Lilly). It would be really majorly horrible if she figured out the password and got in it. So far it isn't really incredibly interesting, but still. it would be wretched if she found out that I really like her best friend, and have for almost three years. You know, although Mia has really serious family and self-esteem problems, she is very pretty and has it much better together than, say, my sister, for example. And although she thinks of herself as very plain, and is constantly complaining about her, quote, 'yield-sign' hair, she really is actually very pretty. If only she wouldn't wear those combat boots so much. when she trips over my shin in G&T, they hurt! But they don't really do much to detract from her really nice looks. They hurt almost as much as Judith's toes in her sandals, but then again, Judith has been practicing since 5th grade. I think Mia's spending the night sometime soon-I better plant something in my sister's room, so I have an excuse to go in and get it. But not something I like, because then my sister's going to ruin it-my Computer Club binder, perhaps? Definitely something to consider. Poor Judith. I think she's going through another bout of fire ants and cactus spines, as she would say (she used to live in Texas). I guess it's probably hardest right around now, what with the stress of finals and Christmas and organizing the Computer Club table, and I think that something's going on. just stress in general, I suppose. She's been doing that mostly by herself, so I feel a bit guilty. I really should help, seeing as I am one of the officers of the club, and I know more about computers than she does. I think she's overworking herself, and not getting enough sleep. After knowing her for about ten years, I have gotten pretty good at telling when she's majorly stressed. She doesn't insist nearly as hard that she can do everything, and starts assigning other people some work when we're in groups for projects in school, rather than doing it all. She also doesn't punch me nearly as much, and she hasn't hit me at all since three weeks ago, not counting today, because she really didn't hit me hard at all, for her. I think something's wrong. I think she's teaming up with Lilly to make me tell her about Mia, although she doesn't know it's Mia yet (I hope). Must go, I'll write more later. Stupid teachers giving stupid homework. I have got to finish up the special program for our table, not to mention slog through English- Mr. Stanson is making us do a term paper AND a creative writing story! At least the term paper is really short; it's only three pages long, and he's assigned us topics. I forget what mine is (already), better ask Judith. Of course, the story is something entirely different. over five pages of QUALITY writing that will probably pass the censorship code (set by Mr. S). Maybe Judith will give me ideas. or do it for me. or definitely not. Oh well, such is life, and don't me started. I'll really stop now.  
  
  
  
Mia yelped as Fat Louie swiped at her when she tried to move him so she could lie on her bed and write.  
  
SHE'S GOING OVER TO HIS HOUSE!! TODAY!!!! AND HE INVITED HER!!! This is it. Totally it. There is absolutely no possible way that Michael could not like Judith Gershner, Fruit Fly girl. I mean, look at her. She has loooong curly dark hair (I heard that it's down to her butt, although she always wears it in a french braid, so I can't tell), and gorgeous long legs that look great EVEN when they are covered by black tights and the stupid plaid KILT that they make us wear. She is NOT flat chested, is not fat, does not look like a beanpole, and has a pronounced hourglass figure. NOT ONLY that, but this is the Judith Gershner who cloned a FRUIT FLY in her BEDROOM. This is the Judith Gershner who has known Michael since 3rd grade, so she has had plenty of time to impress him. The Judith Gershner who would have skipped 3rd AND 4th grade math, but they didn't know she was that smart, so she only skipped 4th grade math, then went on to take Algebra-- the very class that I am failing in 9th grade-in SEVENTH GRADE, making an A EVERY SINGLE SIX WEEKS. It wasn't even just plain Algebra, it was HONOURS. Taught by the famed de la Fuerte, who used to teach here, and is now celebrated in legends as hardest to understand, worst at explaining, least lenient and least understanding about missed assignments, and all around grump. How unfair can life get? I mean really. Why is it that some people have all the luck with looks and brains, and other people can get stuck with an out-of- control, obsessive, controlling grandmother, yield-sign hair that will not do ANYTHING, no matter what I do, an ironing-board chest, and a height that makes it look like a weird recessive gene for abnormal growth suddenly popped up in my family. Why couldn't somebody like Judith Gershner have a weirdo grandmother with a freakish miniature poodle for a change? Nothing very interesting has been going on in my life lately. I think Fat Louie ate another sock, though-wait, no, the shreds on my carpet are the remnants of-- AAAAACKI!!!! Fat Louie just destroyed the tie of my mom's favourite bathrobe!!!! Fat Louie!! Do you know dangerous a seriously pregnant woman can be, especially when she is having a particularly bad bout of hormones?? I LOVE YOU, FAT LOUIE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A DEAD CAT TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW!!!! I HAVE TOO MUCH OTHER STUFF TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW!!! Like, for example: My English term paper Michael Judith ALGEBRA FINAL The dance and who's taking me (I assume Kenny, but he's a little late about asking me) Homework in general ALGEBRA Michael and Judith Lilly (she's been acting weirder than usual lately.) BREAKING UP WITH KENNY (I should do it before he asks me to the dance, and a good amount of time before finals, so he has time to get over it) Not biting my nails (Judith has perfect nails.sigh.) Grandmére  
  
WAIT! I just got an IM from Michael. Here it is:  
  
CracKing: Thermopolis?  
  
FtLouie: uh huh  
  
CracKing: Have you noticed anything strange about the youngest freak living in my house?  
  
FtLouie: you mean Lilly?  
  
CracKing: course. I'm not a freak at all. ; P  
  
FtLouie: recently? Yeah. It seems like she's staring at me a lot more than usual, and talking more to Tina. And writing more.  
  
CracKing: She's been doing that annoying thing more, too, and staring at me and going 'hmm, hmm', and jotting down notes in this weird notebook of hers  
  
FtLouie: you mean the little black one? That's the one she uses for 'Lilly Tells It Like It Is.' What is up with her? She never used to talk to Tina that much.  
  
I suddenly got slugged by an idea/memory. Remember when I spilled to Tina about how I didn't like Kenny, I liked Michael? What if she had told Lilly, or even if Lilly figured it out on her own? Major Mia problems.  
  
FtLouie: uh-oh. I just remembered something. I really hope this isn't it, but all the symptoms are there. crud.  
  
CracKing: what?  
  
FtLouie: nothing. Or, not nothing, just nothing I can tell you. major crud. Gotta go  
  
CracKing: bye  
  
Hmmm. what on earth is Lilly up to?? 


	3. More of my favourites Judith and Lilly!

A/N- mwhahaha, what will happen after the end of this chapter? Please don't just enjoy, let me KNOW you enjoyed, by clicking that lovely blue/purple button at the bottom.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. I don't own the rights to the words in ANY books, sadly. But you know, you can really cheer me up with a review!  
  
Lilly put the tan phone back on the reciever and scrambled madly among the sheets on her bed for her diary.  
  
OH MY GOD!!!! YOU HAVE NOOOOO IDEA WHAT TINA JUST TOLD ME ON THE PHONE!!!! Well. For a while I've suspected that my bro reallllly likes Mia, in spite of her self-actualization problems. BUT. I had no idea that Mia really likes MY BROTHER. I mean, I sorta knew that she doesn't like Kenny. Sure, he's nice and sweet and everything, but still. definitely not date- material. WAY too awkward and gawky. You know, on the subject of date material, I really don't see why Mia doesn't think Boris is date material. He certainly is MUCH cuter, smarter, nicer, more thoughtful and funny and. But I digress. Anyway, it appears that Mia very nearly totally lost it in the girl's bathroom the other day, and spilled to Tina that she really likes my older brother. MAJOR SHOCK!!!!!!!! I don't think I can deal with my best friend and older brother going out. but I get so annoyed when people can't figure out the obvious, I think I'd better help Tina let them realize it. I'll have to take notes and team up with Tina to do SOMETHING to get those two dopes to open their (really incredibly oblivious) eyes to well-known facts. I better go call Tina. Actually, maybe Tina and I can get Judith involved, too- Michael tells her EVERYHTING, sooner or later. Wait, my brother's online. Have to go kick him off. Hmmm. when I went in, he blushed furiously and closed some file on his stupid computer, then clicked out of IM. Where he was instant messaging, guess who. my best friend. About me. All of the file that I saw was, 'Phew! Almost spilled the beans about the computer journal to my brat (Lilly)'. Well, excuse me, but I am most certainly NOT a brat. Spy, yes. Sister, yes. Matchmaker, sometimes. Dedicated champion for the truth and eventual improvement of the human race in New York, definitely. Brat, NO. Boy, am I ever going into his room tomorrow. I know most of his usual passwords, and since he's my brother, I can probably crack any password he makes. Betcha five bucks the password is something like 'hush' or 'pavlov' or 'brat'.  
  
  
  
When she got home the next afternoon, Judith threw her backpack by the door, her books on the couch, then rolled her eyes and went back to the door and slung her backpack over one shoulder. She passed through the kitchen to grab a drink of water, raced up the stairs to her room to pick up the box of tissues and turquoise journal in there, then burst back out the door, yelling "I'm going to the park" to her mother before letting the screen door slam behind her. She started writing, sniffing often and occasionally wiping her nose and eyes on tissues.  
  
You know those days where you wake up sort of disoriented, and everything goes downhill from there? When you can't find your shoes and your cat got in a fight and starts throwing up at five in the morning and you panic because you forgot that you put your math homework in your English binder and can't find it and there is nothing in the house fit for lunch and your sister took your shirt, hair clips, brush, and lunchbox with all of the ice packs in it and then you get stuck in traffic on the way to school and you couldn't find enough information on your History project last night, so you'll have more to do today, and when you get to school everything keeps on getting worse?  
  
What about the WEEKS when you get six hours of sleep because your stupid English partners won't do any of their work, so you stay up late doing it for them and you miss three days of math because of doctor's appointments and extra study time for another class and as a result you're failing because of all the missed assignments and every day is a disoriented day? That's what it's been like for a while. Everything's just falling apart at the seams. When I started eating lunch in a teacher's room in seventh grade, I never dreamed that I would find some teacher who would put up with me reading and eating in their room all through high school, because I didn't really fit in the cafeteria. Lana's table is, of course, not an option, neither is Mia and Lilly's, because they're all sitting there in freshman bliss with their friends and boyfriends. I can't sit at all the various miscellaneous tables full of old friends and assorted people who have, say, third and fourth periods together. I can't even sit at the Computer Club table very often, because I'm the only one who doesn't have a passionate life-long love affair going on with my computer, occasionally cheating on it (I swear this is true: at least a third of the CC members gave their computers names and personalities) with another modem.  
  
I guess I'm just having an ugly. really long period of time. My hair feels greasy and flat, my glasses are dirty and are making my nose oily, none of my clothes seem to look nice, my latest orthodontical torture instrument is causing blisters on my cheeks (both of them- and do you realize that the only years that I have not had something metal in my mouth have been sixth grade, which I really don't even want to think about, and my sophmore year, which was just blah?), I feel too fat or too short or too tall or too busty or too awkward or just too plain. And I don't even have anything to read. I think I'll go to the library, then to Michael's to work on that program. Or maybe I can stop by the bookstore on my way to an errand. Oh, well, here I go. I think that I have a couple 'comfort books' in my backpack.I took Portrait of a Lady to school a couple days ago, and some Jane Austen, and then there's always Janet Evanovitch, if I'm up for it. sigh. Double sigh. Ugh. I have to actually leave now, who knows how much Michael has managed to mess up my plans between the end of school and now.  
  
A young, very thin and delicate-looking girl walked up to where Judith was staring morosely at the cover of her journal, half-heartedly flipping the pages. Long, slightly wavy amber (a/n, it's an inside joke, but: SEE, HARP? I REMEMBER!) hair rippled almost all the way down her back, pulled back in a half-ponytail. Seeing Judith, she called out to her. Judith looked up, hurriedly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. The short girl walked up to Judith and sat down next to her, putting her arm around Judith. "Something wrong?" Judith looked up at her as if she were crazy or blind, or possibly both (a/n- I do this a lot to the actual person, Harper, too) and said, just to clarify, "Yeah, I might possibly guess so." The girl just smiled a bit, and said "Anything in particular, or just life in general?" Judith looked up, surprised. "Hey! That's what I always say, Helen!" Helen smiled, then grabbed Judith's arm and started walking her along one of the paths out of Central Park. "Come on, Judith, I've got something to tell you about some guys at Trinity. Let's go to Ho's Deli."  
  
A/N- oooo TWO author's notes in ONE chapter! I must really want you guys to review! (hint, hint, hint, hint, hint). There's this nifty little button that says 'go' right next to this other really nifty button that says 'submit review', and if you click on 'go' up will pop this nifty little box! Isn't that nifty? Whew, overdose of nifties there. Pleeeeease, I review for you. if you write Ron/Hermione Harry Potter fics. but I have reviewed PD fics, too! Just not really recently! REVIEW! 


	4. like i want my life michael is so cluele...

Mia sat at one of the small tables inside Ho's Deli, writing in her diary. She looked up every so often, checking for Lilly.  
  
Michael's been acting REALLY strange lately. Like, in G & T he'll just totally space when I'm doing a practice problem and he just starts staring at the wall. I have to practically knock him out of his chair to get him to come back to earth. At least, I think it's the wall he's staring at. Judith Gershner has also been in that direction several times. I think that there are only two possible explanations for why he's acting so weird: a. he likes Judith, or b. he's on crack. I'll deal with b first. it's easier. So, I really didn't think that Michael would do drugs or anything-I mean, he's got really good grades (Josh Richter, incidentally, is TOTALLY on steroids AND drugs, and his grades SUCK), and Michael's in really good shape (or at least, his upper body is), and he's got psychologist parents. And he's friends with Judith Gershner, who is DEFINITELY not doing anything. But, he DOES have a webzine called 'Crackhead', and his screen name IS 'CracKing', and he is awfully secretive. Mysterious.intriguing.totally hot.totally in love with housefly girl. Sigh. I bet he does like Judith Gershner. I mean, they're always hanging out together, and they go over to each others houses a lot, and their families know each other, and they're interested in the same things, and Judith is really pretty and smart and is involved in EVERYTHING- band, computer club, she volunteers at elementary schools, she tutors kids, AND she is still making through-the-roof grades. Plus, while I'm sitting there poking him and going "Michael.Michael.Michael, where are you? Michael, I'm done with my worksheet.Michael.MICHAEL!", she comes over while he's staring at the wall (or the seat where she used to be) and goes "Hey, Michael," and he jumps out of his chair and goes "What??" Wait, here's Lilly.  
  
Well, it's decided now. There is no possible reason that Michael doesn't like Judith Gershner. I asked Lilly if her brother was on crack, and she said no. Actually, our conversation went like this:  
  
Me: Er, so, um, Lilly, uh, can I ask you something about your, ah, brother?  
  
Lilly: (gives me this funny look) Sure. What about the bee-brain delinquent?  
  
M: Um, is he, uh, like, on crack?  
  
L: WHAT?????  
  
M: (pause) Uh, so, I um, guess that's a no?  
  
L: Yeah, I think so. (pause). I mean, I know he isn't on anything, because if he was, Judith would know, and then he would be dead by freezing. Really, Mia, have you ever seen one of Judith's frigid glares? She'd give Michael a few of those and he'd be gooooooone.  
  
M: Ah. I see. Well, that's good to know.  
  
L: Yeah. Now, about the next taping of 'Lilly Tells It Like It Is'.  
  
After that I sort of tuned out. But now that I know that Michael likes Judith, and I already knew that Judith likes Michael (why else would she wear tan pantyhose to school, I ask you?), my life has very little joy in it. Oh, brother, Judith and one of her senior year friends just came in.  
  
Oh, was that ever funny. I mean, apart from the whole poor-sad-left-out-Mia- watching-from-the-side thing, that was funny. Here's how it went:  
  
There were a bunch of boys and a few girls from Trinity and Albert Einstein at this long table sort of near Lilly and me, and when Judith and her friend came in, they all turned around and waved. And yelled.  
  
"Hey guys, look who's here! Jumbo Judith and Hellcat Helen!"  
  
"Step right up, folks, and get your front-row tickets for the most exciting show of your life! Watch Judith as she gives Maniac Mark a complete makeover, changing the very shape, size, and colour of his body! Watch as his face turns red, his shins fade from tan to white and then to purple, and numerous indentations appear all over his person!" Judith and her friend (almost blonde, wavy-ish hair, thin, medium height, delicate, pretty) Helen laughed and started slapping (and kicking) the boys. Then they sat down on the side farthest away from me and started talking, but I couldn't really hear what they were saying. Some more boys came in and sat down next to them-I don't know whether they're going out with Judith and Helen (or rather, if one of them is going out with Helen and the other is just a flirt, because Judith likes Michael) or if they're friends, or what. But they were flirting with the girls a lot. Which is a good sign. If one of them does end up going out with Judith, then Judith won't like Michael, and maybe Michael will stop liking Judith.  
  
And maybe blue zombies from Venus will drop down in my glass of water right now and hand me a report card that says I'm getting an A+ in Algebra.  
  
Judith and Helen just ran outside the deli and talked to Michael. They seemed to be telling him something, but he didn't seem too happy about it. As in, he looked completely panicked when they told him. And then jogged off away from Ho's. Judith and Helen left right afterwards. Must go help Lilly with the next taping.  
  
Michael ran all the way back to the apartment , and all the way through the kitchen where a very surprised Maya was cleaning the floor until he reached his room. He opened up a file on his computer and typed in a password.  
  
Judith is truly crazy. Out of her mind, wacko, delusional, delirious. On crack. Well, not on crack, because she's Judith, but she WOULD be if she weren't. Judith, I mean.  
  
Huh. I just read through that and it doesn't make any sense at all. Oh well.  
  
Helen isn't all there, either.  
  
I ran into them (actually, they ran at me, and nearly knocked me flat on my back not only with what they said but by the sheer force of their combined personalities in close range) just as I was about to go into Ho's to get something to eat and talk with some of my Trinity friends who might be going to Columbia. But before I got within six feet of the door Judith and Helen came barreling out of it and told me that I couldn't go in there, because Mia was there and would be so emotionally distraught with her emotional distraughtness (that's a direct quote) and me being there that she would choke on air and fall over in a comatose state of more emotional distraughtness. Then there was something about how there was some guy from Trinity who really liked Judith but was really shy because Judith was being intimidating and if he saw Judith with me he might get the wrong idea, but I wasn't really listening to that because my brain was still on Mia. What did they mean, her seeing me would make her distraught? Did she hate me so much that just seeing me would give her the creeps and make her throw up? What had I done? Then I heard Helen say "Oh, look Judith, he's hyperventilating. Would you like to take care of it, or shall I?" And then next thing I know Judith has reached over and slugged me on my back hard enough to put a dent in my vertebrae. Once I had recovered my breath and decided that maybe I didn't have to be rushed to the emergency room right that very second I asked them if she hated me. Good old Judith knew exactly who I was talking about, although she didn't let me know it until she had stopped laughing and could stand on her own without needing Helen to hold her up. And that was when she dropped the atomic bombs (PLURAL) on me: she said Mia likes me! ME! Michael! As in the person who is sitting here typing in a stupid journal! Me!  
  
They're both nuts, though, so I bet she doesn't. But she did dance with me at the Cultural Diversity dance, and she does ask me to help her with her Algebra homework, and she doesn't object when I intrude on her and Lilly's sleepovers. She also didn't have anyone else to dance with at the cultural diversity dance, doesn't really like Judith for some reason (not that I blame her, of course, Judith is rather frightening and doesn't exactly encourage people to approach her, but she does tutor people) and Judith is the only other person who would really be a logical choice to tutor her, and she can't really object because Lilly doesn't, and I also bring Pavlov and popcorn when I intrude. I wonder, though. Stop that, Michael, she doesn't like you.  
  
That's pitiful, Michael, now you're talking to yourself. STOP IT. I think I'll go now, before I make a bigger fool of myself. Not that anyone will be reading this, of course. Must go. End of story. Bye.  
  
A/N: The chapters will be shorter and farther apart now, because of school. Well, not school exactly, but the immense amounts of practicing I SHOULD be doing on flute and piano and am not right now. Beautiful music, though. REVIEW!!!!!  
  
Thanks to: fuzzyfeelings- ME!!!!! Hahaha, yes I am actually wacko.  
  
Kirjava- Thank you, Ria! I LOVE Philip Pullman, especially his The Tin Princess. Speaking of which, Harp, you need to give that back to me. That and Truth or Dairy. Booklover out for revenge, otherwise. I know where you live.and it's awfully close to me.but you'll give them nicely, won't you? Abby needs to read them. Would you like Wurst Case Scenario?  
  
An Onymous- Yes, I know that it's a bit confusing the way it appears. Something about copying it from Word to ff.net messes it up. Thanks!  
  
Cassandra Anthemyst- you need to write Ron/Hermione fics. That isn't a want, that's a need that must be fulfilled. Yes, things will look up for Judith (don't you love being able to put yourself in a character and have things happen to you as your character and pretend that they happen in real life, too?). I like Lilly, too. She reminds me of Lucy (from Peanuts comic strip-my favourite character from Schulz.)  
  
Thanks again to my FOUR reviewers. Abby, you've read it, WHY HAVEN'T YOU REVIEWED???? I should have asked you yesterday. Hmph. REVIEW! REVIEW! 


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